This Is Not A Drabble
by TheThirdAetas
Summary: Seriously. It's not. It'll never equal to 100 words or less, but either way, this is a collection of "drabbles" for notawordsmith's drabble-a-day challenge. This is mainly for character and group dynamic studies and, mostly, it will revolve around the turtles.
1. The Philosophy of Longevity

Wow...second story of the night...at 4:05am...oh my jeez, what am I doing to myself? '-_-

Anyways, as it says in the summary, this is for the awesome notawordsmith and her drabble-a-day challenge. Ironically.

This idea popped up when I remembered this one thing from Raph's profile somewhere: _His anger possibly stems from his resentment towards the life him and his family is forced to live._

I decided I would explore that a bit more.

* * *

_And the word for today is:_

**Longevity**

* * *

Longevity is a self-explanatory word.

It is a word that Master Splinter, himself, knows does not apply to him and his sons. He can promise them now. He can promise them later. He can promise them tomorrow. But the life they live is a cursed one; where the sun cannot reach them freely without consequence and where the ground they tread cannot be the ground others walk.

And, to an extent, his sons know that.

Michelangelo turns a blind eye towards that cold, cruel truth. He focuses on building the magic cloaked over the shadows hidden in the corner. They are _ninjas_, they fight _crime_, they stand for _good_, and they are mutants formed from an experiment–just like the heroes from the comics.

Leonardo is resigned. His eyes darken with frustration at times, but acceptance is what weighs most on his features. Instead, what he sees is a territory that is unknown and, therefore, unpredictable. He watches every corner, considers every exit, and hides behind every shadow in waiting.

Donatello understands the meaning behind the fact and it's that understanding which makes him throw himself into the works of science, of computers, of _creation_. He tries to create a world filled with possibilities because he knows that he and his brothers can _never_ be a possibility.

But Raphael…Raphael had been disillusioned by this life before he could even comprehended what this life _was_. The resentment he holds is embedded poisonously in his rises, the longing he feels tortures him with each moment that is taken in the upper world, and…

…And Raphael is the epitome of what Master Splinter fears the most. He fears that Leonardo, Donatello, and Michelangelo will also fall victim to the same abyss lying behind the walls and shields they've created around themselves.

He fears that Raphael, someday, will give into that abyss he had uncovered.

Yes…Master Splinter knew that none of them were meant for a life of longevity.

He could hope, he could pray, and he could try, but somewhere deep inside of him, he was sure that something was going to get them before their time was meant to come. Because they can survive their journeys into distant lands and they can survive those battles with their countless foes…

…But there will always be that abyss right there. Readying to strike and swallow them whole.

However, whether it is because they reject the life they were subject to live…or because the life that had rejected them suddenly decides they shouldn't live…

…They had each other.

And Master Splinter knew–at the very end of it all–_that_ was going to be enough.

Because when you have no other option…_it_ _has to be_.

* * *

...Where the shell am I getting with this?

(shakes head) It may not look like it, but I had a specific idea with this one - I swear. I'd explain what it is, but I don't want to ruin your guys's interpretations. You can take my words this way or that way, it's all up to what your head comes up with. :)

See you all tomorrow!


	2. The Letter of Romance

Oh my SHELL, you guys, I apologize...I've been working on my other stuff that I absolutely forgot all about working on THIS one! Gah, I'm so behind, notawordsmith has already posted the next set of words!

Anyways, I'll also have to apologize for this one: I spent only an hour on this, so I'm sure there'll be many mistakes and characterization faults that I wasn't able to catch and correct. I hate being in a hurry for my chapters, but I really would love to actually keep up with this challenge. But, don't worry, I never post anything unless I think there is a degree of satisfaction I feel from it and I still feel pretty good with this one. :)

So, yes, hope you like this one!

* * *

_And the word for today is:_

**Romantic**

* * *

Silence. A comforting, blessed thing…

"You guys!"

Footsteps pounded all over the sewers like it belonged to a pack of elephants, rampaging back and forth, back and forth as if the repetition held the solution to everything.

"What am I gonna do?" Casey asked desperately, gripping the sides of his head as he tilted his head down towards the cobbled stones. "I got laughed at three different stores for askin' if they thought perfume 'n' lotion would be a good Valentines gift for a chick, so I had ta settle for a teddy bear and _roses_!"

"You could add chocolate to that," Mikey piped up in a miserable voice, as he played half-heartedly with the paper ball in his hands.

It has been this way for the past half hour–sitting petulantly on the sofa with his brothers beside him–and it seemed as if there wasn't going to be any end to it, all thanks to _THE RETURN OF THE _THING_ THAT WOULDN'T _FREAKING_ LEAVE._

"And as my soaps have taught me, Mister Jones," Master Splinter tiredly replied, sitting rigidly in his meditative stance at the foot of the couch. "Diamonds are a girl's best friend."

With disinterested auburn irises, Leo reached over to lazily nudge Donnie at the knee.

And with the purple-banded turtle calmly nodding, he proceeded to stuff the ends of Mikey's bandanas into the youngest turtle's big, fat, giggling mouth.

"And now I gotta write…write a _poem_ fer April!" Casey continued to rant, as if his voice was the only thing in the world that existed at the moment. "'Cause _Joshua_–" he spat, "–Used ta make her one every Valentines day or somethin'!"

"Joshua?" Donnie piped up, with his eyebrow ridge raised. "That's April's former boyfriend from college. What does _he_ have to do with _anything_?"

"We ran into him when we were eatin' at Bertolli's–"

"Oh, hey!" Mikey exclaimed. He pinched his thumb and forefinger together and stuck out the rest of his fingers, chirping in an Italian accent, "I-a love-a their pizza!"

"Mikey, _shush_," Donnie sighed out exasperatedly, giving a love tap to the back of Mikey's head. "You're being racist against Mario and his people," he muttered.

"ANYWAYS!" Casey snapped, waving his hands around like a disease-ridden monkey. "He was all over her like some creep!" He punched his fist against the palm of his hand.

"Mister Jones, please calm yourself," Master Splinter forced out through a calming exhale.

In response, Casey just kicked hard at the rug beside his feet, making it go off into a fly-worthy distance.

"Oh, April, is this yer new boyfriend?" Casey continued, his voice becoming a mix between Cruella De Vil and Patrick Star. "It's nice ta meet ya! Say, if ya need a tip on what ta write for her on her Valentines card, she sure loves poets like Walt Disney!" Crossing his arms tightly against his chest, he growled out in his normal voice, "And ain't he that guy who made The Lil' Mermaid 'n' crap like that? How is _he_ considered a poet?"

Donnie stared blankly at his friend…by default. And he only had a certain hotheaded brother of his to blame. "I think Joshua had meant Walt Whitman, Casey," he pointed out slowly.

Casey looked blankly at Donnie for a moment…

…Before he threw his hands up in the air, a look of desperation embedding itself deeply onto countenance. "What am I gonna do!?" he yelled. "I can't _not_ write her a card now; I forgot ta get her a present until now, I could only buy her a crappy present, she's expectin' me at her place in an hour, and I ain't gonna let that ex-bastard-boyfriend be–"

"Hey, Leo, Raphie, what're you guys doin'?" Mikey suddenly interrupted, leaning over Donnie's lap to look closer at the pair of brothers huddled together on the other side of the couch.

"What?" Leo asked, jumping in his seat on the couch as he turned quickly towards his brother.

"We ain't doin' nothin'," Raph was quick to follow with, moving further in front of the arm rest he was 'subtly' guarding.

"Nothing at all," Leo practically repeated in a shifty voice, his eyes wide with a seemingly irrational guilt. Actually, to be honest…_both_ of their eyes were.

"Uh-huh. Right," Donnie drawled.

Mikey, however, was quick to question, "Why do you guys look like you killed Klunk?" Horror immediately filled his cerulean irises. "Wait, you didn't do anything to Klunk, right!?"

"Damn, Mikey, does yer mouth get dumber every day or is it jus' you?" Raph retaliated harshly, his amber eyes flashing with panic as he pushed Leo further away from him, quickly getting off the couch with a piece of paper crumpled tightly in his fist.

"Isn't that the paper Casey just came in with and tried to make all of us write on a while ago?" Donnie suddenly piped up without thinking. He couldn't even hold back his flinch at the pair of vehement glares sent his way. "Uh…I guess not."

"Hey, wait, yea it is!" Mikey excitedly exclaimed, jumping up from his couch. And in a blur of green…

"Michelangelo, get off your brother right now!" Splinter demanded, standing from his place on the floor as he quickly made his way over to his currently brawling sons.

"Raph! Mikey!" Casey yelled, a vein popping from his neck as he ran over to the two turtles. It was just in time for Mikey to slam Raph's hand against the floor, making the older one let go of the note that he had in a death grip just moments before.

"Jeez, ya idiots," Casey murmured as he picked up the fallen letter, smoothing out the crinkles that had formed. "This thing almost got–" His azure eyes widened with shock. "–Ruined."

"NO!" Raph screamed from underneath Mikey's death trap position, his hands only able to do nothing more than twitch an inch away from his sai. "Ugh! Mikey, ya fat bozo, I'm gonna _rip_ yer shell off yer back when I'm done with ya!"

"Well, seeing as how you're fighting oh-so badly to get to that paper, bro," Mikey deviously said with a wolfish grin. "I'm thinking _you're_ going to be ripping _your_ shell of your _own _back once Casey's done with that letter."

Pure resignation tore through Raph's face.

"What in the world did Raph _write_?" Donnie slowly questioned, looking at a nervous Leo with confusion. "Leo?"

Leo gulped, feeling Raph's pleading stare burn through his peripheral vision. "You guys," Leo started in a hesitant voice, mentally screaming out a world of apologies to the certain brother who let out a horrified groan a few ways from him.

"This is the first time Raph wrote something like this…" Leo stopped immediately at that, mentally going through the words he had just read from Raph's letter. "…I think." Another groan. "So I think it'd be better if–"

"Aw man, Raph!" Casey said with pure delight. "This is gold!"

"What's gold?" Mikey asked, still sitting on Raph's shell with his legs folded crisscross-apple-sauce.

"NOTHING, you pack of useless boneheads!" Raph cried, finally able to roughly throw Mikey off of him. He rolled back onto his butt, with a look of self-deprecating humiliation colored over his emerald green skin. One hand covered over his pained irises.

"Ow, should've seen that coming," Mikey groaned out, rubbing his aching back.

"If I may, Mister Jones," Splinter said as he held out his hand, his tone holding nothing _near_ a request.

"Uh, yea, sure," Casey hesitantly replied, forking over the piece of paper with a sulky edge rimming his eyes.

Splinter held out the thin object before him with one hand. And in slow, stunned words…

"I can't tell you I love you as much as you deserve to hear it." Silence fell within every inch of the sewers. "I can't admit how much I need you no matter how much the thought of _you_ not needing _me_ makes my life start meaning _nothing_."

Raph covered his ears with his with his palms. "I ain't here, I ain't here, I ain't here," Raphael murmured continuously to himself, hating himself more than ever for his idiotic impatience.

"And I won't be able to hand you the world lying at your feet even though you've become my whole universe." Splinter's onyx irises began to melt. "I can give you cliché after cliché, word after word, and line after line. I can keep going until every space is filled with everything, with anything, and until it all fades away with the ink it was written. But that doesn't matter."

Everyone was looking shamelessly at Raph now.

And it was Leo who had a soft grin on his face.

"Because what's left behind is the truth and the truth is what makes everything between you and me _timeless_. Happy Valentines Day, April." Here, Splinter's face became torn between wonderment and disapproval. "Casey Jones." Splinter pulled the piece of paper away from in front of his face, shaking his head incredulously as he looked at his sullen son with a gentle smile. "Raphael, this is beautiful."

"Whatever," Raph muttered, fidgeting uncomfortably with the sash around his waist.

"It _is_, Raph!" Donnie exclaimed, turning fully towards his brother with wide eyes and his hands spread out by his side. "And you _wrote_ this!?"

Mikey's mouth widened into a foreboding grin and Leo immediately launched himself over to wrap an arm around Mikey's mouth, turning his imminent 'HAHAHAHAHAH' into 'mph, mph, MPH!'

Raph gave a swift glance of relief towards the duo before he morphed it quickly into a deep scowl as he looked back towards Donnie. "Shut up!" he screamed, forcing his hands _not_ to go to his sai and wave it around like some pissed off madman. "So what if I did, huh? S'not like any of you didn't write crap like that!"

"Actually–" Donnie started…before amber irises shot fire at him. He shut his mouth up with a click. "Okay, fine, we _have_ written things like that," he sighed out with a blatant eye roll.

But then he saw the utter misery glued onto Raph's face and a light guilt filtered into Donnie's eyes. "Raph, you know I wasn't implying that you were incapable," he said soothingly, shoulders loosening as Raph seemed to settle down at his words. "I was just surprised because, well…you _hate_ writing."

"He's got a point!" Leo exclaimed behind the flailing arms of a muffled Mikey.

Raph rubbed the back of his head at that, his lips pulling down to the side as he struggled to find something to say.

"My son," Splinter said, waiting until Raphael turned to him with hesitant, amber irises. "There is nothing shameful in the art of writing." He chuckled lightly as the other turtle's grimace implied the exact opposite. "Are words worthy of mockery if it is found to open the eyes that are closed to the _life _around them?"

Raph rubbed the back of his neck as he averted his stare towards Splinter's feet. "No."

"Then does it mean–" Splinter continued, conviction embedded deeply in his voice, "–It is insignificant if the words are able to invoke a belief and change in the hearts of the ones who _need_ such a thing?"

Raph's voice became smaller. "…No…"

Master Splinter nodded approvingly at that and finally delivered, "And if the words bring laughter in place of tears, _feeling_ to jaded minds, and a sense of connection to severed ties?"

"Okay, alright, I get it!" Raph cried out, throwing his hands in the air. "I shouldn't feel like some sissy jus' 'cause of writing some sappy, shitty poem," he grumbled, his mortification unable to edge away from his face as he stared stubbornly at the floor before him.

"It's not shitty, Raph!" Leo instantly argued with irritation in his auburn eyes, all the while shrugging away Mikey's prying hands.

Raph forced himself to turn towards his brother, a frail kind of hope entering his eyes as he saw the sincerity on Leo's features. "Then what is it?" he carefully asked.

"Sappy," Donnie was the one to reply, an understanding smile lighting his face, "But _classic_."

Raph's eyes finally softened at that.

"Yea, Raph!" Casey finally intervened, snatching his winning letter out from Splinter's hands as he waved it in the air. No one really knew if the New Yorker caught the unappreciative glare a certain rat sent him. "I mean, it's deep and significant and stuff. I gotta admit, you made this piece of paper real beautiful."

Raph raised his nonexistent eyebrows at that. "Since when were _you _that interested in poems, Case?"

"Since never!" Casey chirped, walking over to his friend to slap a happy hand on the turtle's shoulder. "But man, you are _so_ gonna help get laid tonight!"

Master Splinter's left eye twitched at that.

"Oh, of course," Donnie sighed, exchanging a dry stare with Leo.

"Ah, shut yer trap, bozo!" Raph laughed out, punching Casey's hand off his shoulder as he gave his friend a grateful smirk. "Jus' write all that down and get yer ass outta these sewers. We don't wanna see yer mug down here for a week."

"I'm outta your hair, pal," Casey replied with a chuckle, patting Raph's arm a few more times. "And hey, Raph…" A genuine smile stretched over his lips. "…Thanks. April's gonna love it."

Raph nodded at that, a slight grin coming onto his face. "Don't mention it."

And it was right after that moment when Mikey's mouth _finally_ resurfaced from the muzzle that was Leo's surprisingly _strong_ frickin' arm.

Then, within a span of a few seconds, he absolutely _devastated_ every last bit of progress his family achieved with Raphael.

"You romantic _SWEETIE-HEART_, Raph!"

Yes, if only Leo had just let Mikey _say_ what he wanted to say in the first place…

"Oh, I'LL SHOW YOU ROMANTIC, ALRIGHT!"

…Then again, to be honest, it probably wouldn't have made much of a difference with those two.

* * *

Well, this was rather different from my other one's...

And I have to agree with Raph on this: absolutely, downright sappy...(sigh)...I'm trying to fool myself into thinking that, if I had given myself more time, I would've done something better than that, lol.

But, yea, anyways, what do you think about concerning Casey's personality? Too one-sided? Too New Yorker? Too Casey? Any complaints are welcome. :P

And, you know, I've been looking over all of my stories again and man...I really need to start working with all the other turtles. My favorite green guy is Raph, so it's rather difficult for me to branch out with Leo, Mikey, and Donnie. But for the sake of being fair, I'll TRY and not to make everything revolve around him.

Key word is 'try', though. T_T

Well, thank you for getting to the bottom of this, I hope to see you next time!


	3. Mixtures of Black and White

On 9/11, the twin towers were taken down by two suicide planes. At the time, my dad was in this pub with his friends. When they looked at the TV, they saw the twin towers up in smoke with live feed of people running around and screaming. The first thing he and his friends asked was, "What movie is this?"

"This isn't a movie. It's real," the bartender had replied. "America has been attacked."

So, that is one of the reasons which made me create this chapter. The turtles would've been around 13 when 9/11 happened because in the 2k3 series, they're supposed to be 15. Also, the location might be a bit unrealistic. The twin towers were located in downtown Manhattan and I'm not really sure how close the turtles are to there, but since it's set in NYC, I'm sure that they aren't that far!

I hope I have not insulted anyone by creating this chapter, but if I have, then by all means, feel free to voice your opinions.

**Warning: **Cussing, blood, tragedy, and possible OOC on Raph's part.

* * *

_And the Bonus Word for today is:_

**Shades of Grey**

* * *

Grey.

It colored the world around him in arrays, variations, and _shades_. In forms of smoke–so much smoke. But there was also rubble. Pavement. Glass. And nonsensically, _fire_. Those bight, consuming flames: they turned into _grey_. It smothered him and at that moment, it was all he could think of…because it was all around him. It was around everyone. Light grey, dark grey, steel grey, ash grey…grey.

"M-My baby sister, she's going to be okay, right!? I…I can see her bones. Why can I see her bones!?"

Grey.

"They had to close the doors to the emergency rooms; too much smoke has gotten in. I'm sorry."

Grey.

"I…I can't see."

_Red._

Raph gathered a young child into his arms; he couldn't have been more than five. A pale pigment of blue shone in his glassy eyes but something vague in Raph's mind told him _that wasn't his real eye color_. With an unbearable tremor of horror, his tongue exploded with a sudden sharp pain and he felt something warm seep into his mouth.

He knew it wasn't saliva.

His ears ringing with an indecipherable rush, he pressed the broken body he held against his plastron. "Ya can't see?" he got out through a throbbing throat.

"I-I can see," the child murmured, curling in a ball as he blinked slowly. Pieces of debris fell onto his cheek and vaguely, Raph felt something hit his skin too. "But it's all black." His bottom lip began to quiver. "Daddy told me not to leave. I had to be in the car. He'd be back soon." He blinked sleepily and through a soft exhale, he asked, "Is he back soon?"

"No," Raph quietly replied, a burn beginning to sting his eyes. "But I'll stay until he's back, alright?"

A fatigue-ridden smile stretched across his features . "Okay. Thank you." He lifted his head up a bit from Raph's bicep, a look of utter concentration forming onto his face. "I think I heard my daddy."

Raph automatically lifted his head at that and it was only _then_ was he able to comprehend just how…_silent_ the world had become in those few moments.

Because when he finally turned his head towards the destruction all around him, everything suddenly obtained _sound_ and, immediately, each and every one of those sounds bombarded his ears all at once.

The roar of the smoke surrounding him was surprising the most–the fact that it was so _loud_. But there it was, howling against his flesh and biting against his eyes like a furious monster. Next came in the cries of pain and panic that echoed inside his ears, creating a bitter taste inside his head. And there was also the sharp noise of bricks hitting cement, overruling the dull stampede of footsteps running everywhere past him.

And then an epiphany struck through Raph…an epiphany that told him…_he was in the middle of it all_.

He was right there, out in the open, smack-dab in a place where practically every single person in the _world_ would've been able to see him. Would've been able to grab him by the neck and throw him into some secure governmental facility so he could be poked and prodded…

…And no one even noticed.

Until a middle-aged man dropped to his knees right in front of him.

"Tr-Travis," the man spoke through a sob, gingerly putting a hand on the boy's shoulder. Travis merely nodded in reply, his head falling towards his father's hand as his eyes fluttered between sleep and consciousness.

Then Travis's dad turned towards Raph. And the mix between terror and revulsion in the man's stormy grey eyes made Raph bite his inner cheek. "Who…" the man paused, wrapping his fingers around his son's bicep protectively. "…_What_ the _fucking_ hell are you?"

Raph flinched. "I don't know," he muttered, his mind truly drawing blanks. "Jus'…" Carefully, Raph held out Travis to the other man, who took his son quickly into his own embrace. Raph, unexpectedly, felt his arms become cold with the loss. "…Jus' take Travis somewhere safe."

His amber irises dropped towards the crimson smears staining his forearm. It was the same place where Travis's head was just lying on a few, mere moments ago.

Something heavy dropped into the pit of Raph's stomach. "Now."

The last thing he saw before he turned his head away was Travis's pale, unseeing eyes; staring at him with a small, crooked smile on his lips. Then making his way onto his feet, Raph pivoted on his heel and began to pump his legs as fast as he could far away from them. Far away and towards the only place he ever truly felt safe in.

Everything fell into a blur around him.

Even when the world transitioned from sky to ground, shrouded sky to cloaked bricks, and rushing chaos to rushing sewage water…

…He wasn't able to grasp the exact moment when his hand fell from the ladder and against his side. He didn't even feel his feet slide from the last of the metal bars and back onto the protruding edges of the cobblestone floors beneath him.

All he could register was that his eyes were _unable_ to move away from his feet…and all he could think of was how there was a barrier, now, between him and the war that had unfurled above him.

Then his mind finally told that he was here. In the sewers. _He_ _was_ here_ in_ _the_ _sewers_.

Raph's eyes widened painfully as a horrific thought began to form inside his irrationality. Tearing his eyes away rapidly from his feet, his motionless hands curled into a trembling fist as his urge to find and protect his–

"RAPHAEL!"

"Raph!"

_Father. __Brothers._

_Family._

An inexplicable feeling of relief washed through Raph as that yell bounced off the walls of the sewers. He had never been so…so _glad_ to hear those voices, as furious and clamorous as they were. And when he slowly turned his body around, the only thing his vision would let him see was a seething, scowling rat, along with three frowning turtles following at his heels.

Raph's knees began to weaken. The screams in his ears began to quiet. The heartbeat pounding in his throat began to settle back into his chest. Everything inside of him was pushed out and soon, he had no space for anything else but…but _gratefulness_.

"Raphael!" Splinter repeated as he came to stand before his most hardheaded son. He struck the ground forcefully with his cane. "How many times must I tell you that _you are not ready _for the world above you!? How many times must I tell you to keep yourself _within_ the vicinity of these sewers!? Why–"

"Are you okay?"

Splinter stopped abruptly at that question, blinking down confusedly at his son's muddled irises. "Am I okay?" he voiced as he furrowed his eyebrows together.

"Are you…" Raphael gulped. "…Are any of ya hurt?"

Donnie came behind his sensei, his head tilted as he carefully looked over his brother. "Raph, why would we be _hurt_?" Suddenly, his eyes widened. "Oh shell, is that _blood_ on your arm?"

Master Splinter was quick to grab Raph's wrists, raising them to inspect swiftly for any wounds. "My son," he questioned, his tone falling into worry. "What has happened?"

Raph automatically turned his head upwards. It was an unfortunate coincidence that the sounds chose _then, _at that moment…to become _louder_. It was enough for Raph to know that his family could hear it. Hear the cries, the horror, the _turmoil_…and of all the things he could've said…

"It ain't mine," Raph muttered expressionlessly, looking back at his family.

"I know that, Raphael," Master Splinter replied in a careful voice.

Leo came towards his sensei and brother, his lips pursed in concern as he looked continuously between Raph and the pothole above their heads. "What's going on up there?" Leo asked, raising his hand to wrap his fingers around one of the bars of the ladder.

Raph's eyes darkened immediately at that. "NO!" he roared, pushing Leo's hand away from the ladder.

Mikey and Donnie gave into dumbstruck stares as Raphael promptly proceeded to jump at Leo, tackling the turtle down to the ground.

"Raphael, unhand your brother!" Splinter exclaimed, taking a step further towards his sons.

"What the _SHELL_, Hothead!?" Leo screamed, his hand flying above his head before he slammed it down on the younger one's shoulders, forcefully pushing back at them. But Raph just pinned him down further by his plastron, making Leo rock back and forth slightly. And with a wince, Leo snapped, "Raph, you _know_ I don't like being on my back!"

"Ya can't go up there!" Raph yelled at Leo's face, with a crazy glint beginning to rim his wild irises. Then he snapped his head up towards his family, his words becoming a desperate jumble of unspoken pleas. "_None_ of you can!" Raph clenched his eyes shut tightly, all the while shaking his head. "I…_I won't let you_."

"R-Raph…" Leo stuttered. His eyes wide with shock and his hands slackened, leaving his palms pressed lightly against Raph's biceps now. "…I wasn't going to go topside, bro," he replied with apprehension on every area of his face. "Why are you reacting like this?"

Master Splinter stepped further towards his two turtles, leaning down to place a grounding hand on his son's shoulder. "Raphael," Master Splinter said in a gentle voice. "Remove yourself from Leonardo."

Shakily, Raphael pushed himself off of Leo, coming to kneel at the older one's feet. And silently, he offered his hand to the blue-banded turtle.

"Thanks," Leo muttered, firmly grasping his younger brother's hand as he pulled himself up into a sitting position.

But when Raph had held onto his hand for a few seconds longer, squeezing his fingers almost painfully before finally letting go…Leo suddenly had to force down the bile that built up in the back of his throat.

"Dad." Everyone's stares snapped blatantly towards an unreadable Raph, each and every one of their eyes wide. But _no one's_ eyes were larger than Splinters. "You were right." Raph's eyes began to fill with a pain-filled shame. "I wasn't ready."

Master Splinter opened his mouth to respond to that, to speak, to comfort, to rationalize, to do _something_…but, for the first time in a long time, all that was able to pass through his lips was…_nothing_.

"My son," Master Splinter simply murmured with a solemn sigh, his jaw clenching together with the weight of his remorse.

Mikey fidgeted anxiously with chains of his nunchakus, his wide-eyed cerulean irises becoming tentative as they turned towards his older brother. "Raphie?" Mikey asked, his voice quiet. No more than a murmur. "What…_is _up there?"

Raph could smell the smoke again. See the grim reaper standing before every victim surrounding him. Could hear the…_devastation _asphyxiate his ears.

And he suddenly realized why he felt so scared. "It's hell, Mikey," he replied, unable to look at any of his family. "It's hell."

And for the longest time, Raph thought hell was the color of red.

He never imagined it was actually the shades of grey.

* * *

You know, to be honest, I actually was NOT planning to do anything from the Bonus round, but along with my dad's story, I watched the 9/11 Emergency Room documentary with my parents a few hours ago. Seriously, it's amazing, I've seen a lot of footage from 9/11, but this one really got the waterworks going.

And you know what one of my thoughts were as I watched it? '_Everything is so...grey._' It just happened to be of absolute, amazing coincidence that "Shades of Grey" happened to be on one of the Bonus Round Words/Phrases.

Okay, anyways, I hope you liked this piece! I am now going to go work a bit on my other story, "What you Deserve"...which I should've freaking updated yesterday. :( I'm really sorry about that, I didn't expect for me to only be halfway done at this point! I promise to get it out soon, I just won't promise on a specific date I know I can't keep, lol.


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